How long are we willing to see again the faces we ever keep in photos after he died? while looking for self portrait of an important figure in a special folder in your laptop. A fellow columnist meinginkannya obituary, specialists, because a great man had recently reported to have died. How about that appears on the screenof the monitor is the face of your father himself, who probably never did you catchbefore he left for good? You're able to look at him long? Simply doing digital imaging light for printing books in Yasin tahlilan 40 days after death, for example?
For you, it's the most horrible job. Perhaps more dangerous than the hard efforts get a momentum of such a situation in the lustful genting. The faces in the photos it seems like to converse with you. His lips like a real move. His arms flailing like ask you for a moment of silence, listening to his talk. With a variety of expressions, it is likebegging for a helping hand in order to convey things not carried during life. He reveals all the secrets of countenance, admitted all manner of tudingan who during lifemay be refuted perpetually. Photos of the dead it is like a virtual home inhabited much hope, and all are addressed to you. "Of course if the person is alreadydeceased, the data also buried! So as not to make a fuss, " snapped.
That's what made you more gandrung perpetuate inanimate objects rather than photographing people live. When you cannot avoid man, you will surely choose the human menelentang in the coffin. But, of course there is the only time you cannot refuse to drive the mouth of lens to the living person's face. Still remember when your dad suddenly asked to be photographed against the backdrop of garden Cress he returned with the remains of power after years of working as an artisan wells?
"Do not busy photographing other people only. Bikinlah photo of the father. This stretch of vegetable gardens are putting out as evidence that the father still energetic, "said your dad on one occasion home some years ago.
"Please you set how pool so Dad's face doesn't look too old. Similarly, the body of the father, upayakanlah not impressed frail, "please your father, though his age whenit was a seven-headed.
"Why is still silent? Quickly prepare perkakasmu! "
The request was not only odd, but also makes you flabbergasted some pause. You know, since childhood to adulthood, there are no family photos displayed on the wallof your living room. If anything, it's just a photo of your brother while receiving a trophy race speech, or photos of your brother that one again, as he was with friends in junior high, following the race closely intelligent antarsekolah. Even up to from home it was born three scholars, including yourselves, none plastered photos of graduation. There are no photos of your mother, not your father also, let alone their wedding photos. But then, in the age of seventies your dad suddenly ask you to preparegadgets photo shoot in order to perpetuate itself. Whether for the purposes of what.
Without much wondering the best lens-lens, you remove it from the Pack, lights flash off, tripod, and tools of light reflectors, installed in the garden Cress area behind the House that your period. You let your father stood with positions that he liked, without being directed at all. You're just letting your father talked freely when the shooting took place. The evening light was quite bright. The atmosphere is cool and calm, with interludes of mild humour-humour, until finally you managed to acquire 50frames from various angles-targeting, with image sharpness and detail perfect.
"Dad don't need to check the result. Father believe you're already proficient! "
"You may need to send a one-two on the brothers and sisters of my father. Just shows that Dad still sturdy. Do not report their disease like rotten. "
"The rest you save only. Perhaps you need it later. "
From the look on his face, you actually understand, he wanted to have the two of you pose, which could have been you do by turning on swafoto mode on the cameradigitalmu. But your dad feel free to convey the desire that may overdo it. For he knew since childhood, you're the most is his son been refused any invitation to take pictures. Pertamamu experience with the world of photography is the experience of facing the fear. This time, standing a few fathoms at the front of the mouth of the lensfor you, like a lethal shot from welcome to rifle a very-faced executioner, even though photographers is pamanmu own youngest brother, your father. You're feeling threatened every time it had to face with the camera. Your face feels will be skinned, your ears feel like they are going to cut, your chest feels would be pierced.
"People are afraid of being photographed in childhood, later when it is going to be a great photographer," pamanmu prayer, which seems soon diaminkan by your father.
The prayer was answered later in the day. The fate of the delivering of your life into a world of images. Your days were never off of the camera. There is nothing more exciting for you in addition to the activities to draw with light, even though the field of keilmuanmu is absolutely no relation to photography. However, perangaimu never changed. Never mind the citraan in the world, in the real world any time you're afraid appeared. You're always reduces the risk of an eye-catching for many people. Are you fond of negating anyone's body. When can not shy away from having posedin front of the camera, the result could've been predictable; the smile was forced, polite gaze, and an aura of confusion that could not dustakan you. Friends of menggelarimu as a photographer with one of abstinence; photographed. When that happens, they say, reputasimu as a reliable photographer will fall. As a swordsman with hissecret uncovered, up to bertekuk-lutut in the presence of the enemy.
One year after you post some of your photos on frames of his brothers by electronic mail, in the distance you hear the news that your father has passed away. From the garden that's your body & dipapah by some people. That time he was harvesting, and the result is already a tauke awaited to be brought to the market, which fell on Thursday. All of a sudden your dad attacked shortness of breath a difficult was intercepted, until he collapsed and drooped lifelessly above pembatang. Your fathersprawl in the State continue to weaken over the next few months, until his life was not spared.
Thus, events that generate 50 frame photo shoot that is perjumpaanmu with your father. Even simply deliver your father into the place of rest lasting you failed to comply. The aircraft that you were travelling from Jakarta is experiencing delays. Can yousee the arrival home is just father's burial ground which is still red.
"Up to now I have not been able to open the folder containing the photos of my father!" ungkapmu with the look that gets giddy.
"Once I accidentally open it, and then I hurriedly shut it down. My father lived in the photos! "
***
Photos in a special folder on your laptop that's not how stirring your chest, Comrade. During the we are still students, you still remember took me back tokampungmu? That time I carry an analog camera, a gift that kuperoleh from a photo-contest. With a camera that, certainly with the ability that is still amateur and supporting the gadget I made a cheesy pose photos together in your home page; you,your brother, and two of your father. The photo was still intact in the archives that Iname; discarded dear.
Indeed shabby. The colour is certainly already dull. But, the memories nested inside it, kupastikan will not be corroded. First, after the downside we print, very excited you told me that your father is still sturdy. You tell me, when fixing a door off the kitchen of engselnya, your dad still misgivings when your power was not able to drag the leaves that door alone, then your father's hasty come help, until you guys merehab your mother's kitchen together. That time your father also is still tough. After work digging wells at home person, the whole body of clay. You said, his tongue only colorless ground.
"All the shovels still you met with rocks in the depths of the well, never in doubt. Father will continue to wander the Earth, while you guys Merry-gembiralah world school, "so your father's pumping passion you guys.
You cannot treat your father as he casually carrying your little body to health centers when you're high heat after playing ball in the heavy rain. You cannot menyuapinya with a penchant for food because he has lost his appetite. While in its infancy, an almost Unique piece has been pushed into his mouth he take away again, becausehe sees your eyes want Ordinary Light that month.
Now your father is already no. The joy of you guys also are long gone. But you're not going to forget the smell of soil that had been allied with the body of your father.You're not going to forget the breath of his manhood, a way of tertawanya burly, the base of the arms. Missed period hanging on the shoulders of your father is the kind of excitement that no longer will be voiced. Or some sort of silence that no longerwill be terbahasakan in all your life.
Cliché photos were already missing, Comrade. But, I already save it by changing thesheets that battered photos into digital format. File send software to have the address emailmu. Download and store well. Later, you will need it. ...
Father's Body Colored Ground
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